How to start a new life

How to start a new life


Psychologist Michael Khors — how to overcome procrastination and increase personal effectiveness

Photo: from the personal archive of Michael Khors

It was like this.

Call “News” has brought good news. Cute girl, a journalist asked me to write an article about procrastination. The deadline to three days. “Excellent! Just my subject — bad habits!” — I thought. And then made to schedule this task. Took the time to tomorrow. While driving home, uttered a voice plan articles. When the phone alerted me about the beginning of this task, I set aside everything else and focused on the file with the appropriate name. Two hours later, a draft article was prepared. The next morning he was corrected, appended and sent to the editor. By doing this and still a lot of stuff, I decided to reward themselves for their achievements with a trip to the suburban house of a family vacation in a couple of days. And immediately booked a room by phone.

Or it was like this.

Call “News” promised another load, from which it is impossible to refuse. Woman journalist asked me to write an article about procrastination. The deadline to three days. “Just my theme, but time is of the essence!” — angrily I thought, recording contact details on a piece of paper. “I’ll call her back and clarify the format of the article. But not today — then tomorrow.” On the way home, thoughts wandered from economic sanctions to the long-standing conflict with my neighbor, which I was trying to prove something. And then I was fascinated by the possible consequences of a nuclear war and I started calculating the chances of survival. Article I passed close to the deadline after several angry calls from the office. Wrote not even wrong. Wrote, focused on message friends from social networks and regular news. Time to fix was gone. Left nasty feeling that brought people here and I’m not going to call. Guilt and anger at himself was forced to open a computer game and go in head first. If only not to look in the diary, where again loomed not finish until the end of the case.

Procrastination — the uncontrollable tendency to a constant delay important and urgent cases, leading to the problems of life and the painful psychological effects.

As a practicing psychologist, I am constantly confronted with the manifestation of procrastination in the lives of my patients. I see them sometimes months later business meetings, important family conversations, and long overdue decisions necessary calls. The efficiency decreases. People are suffering. I hate myself for it, but can’t help it.
In this article, I decided to give step-by-step guide for those who tortured procrastination.

Admit that you have this psychological problem. Consider yourself a sick person. Because illnesses are not only physical, but also personal. You will not be able to defeat this problem, don’t assume that procrastination is your own choice. You will proceed with the treatment only if starts to treat his behaviour as a disease.

Stop using the words “I want” in relation to procrastination. Stop saying “I don’t want to do it now.” Say to yourself: “I want to do these things, but it interferes with procrastination”. Get used to the view that you want to be successful and effective. It’s not about you, but procrastination wants to postpone.

Agree with his perfectionism which demands that you have made all things in time and perfect. Give yourself permission to do these things are not as good as you want. Because of your commitment to excellence you’ve got the hang not finished dozens of cases! At this stage it is more important to create a new habit — to end business in any way. And then you will be able to do to increase its effectiveness.

Stop getting annoyed at myself for the procrastination. Angry at himself, feeling guilt and shame, you won’t have time for more! Conversely, negative experiences will take you more strength. Do not scold you myself for coughing during a cold? So don’t be angry that putting off important things at the time of procrastination.

Be alert to even the smallest progress in the fight against this harmful habit! Reward yourself for the slow pace of change. Made today even a little more than usual — praise yourself! Be proud of yourself, because you are being treated for severe personality disorder that interferes with living high quality life to millions of people! You already took it! So, you’ve already done more than most!

Give yourself a lot of time on this issue. Do not try to solve it quickly, no need to get attached to dates! If you happen quickly — let it be a pleasant surprise for you. Now it is important that the process start and went with any speed. If you put another hard plan and will not be able to perform, once again you are disappointed in yourself, which will lead to setbacks along the way.

Do not try to keep up with the leaders! Perhaps someone solves the issues faster than you. Maybe others do better than you — so what? Some people, for example, can the head stand, that’s no reason to be upset. You are a unique individual, there is no other on Earth! Why you should be able to be able the same as others? Life is not a sporting event. You will be able to achieve much, but on your way will be obstacles, including those caused by your inner, personal limitations.

If possible find yourself a mentor who understands you and truly tell about how he solved similar problems.

The author is a practicing clinical psychologist

The opinion of the author may not coincide with the position of the editorial Board